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  • Data Centre > BOFH

    Belt with antique looking cellphone strapped to it in a brass pouch

    BOFH: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

    Episode 15“I don’t know what to say,” the Boss says, looking confused.
    Simon Travaglia, 10 Nov 2017
    Tea mug wth buttered toast on a plate

    BOFH: Do I smell burning toes, I mean burning toast?

    Episode 14There's trouble in the state of Mission Control.
    Simon Travaglia, 27 Oct 2017
    Man gets tie stuck in paper shredder...

    BOFH: Oh dear. Did someone get lost on the Audit Trail?

    Episode 13So I'm walking down the corridor from Mission Control with about a ream of financial paperwork when I notice the Boss coming the other way with the IT Director in tow - never a good sign.
    Simon Travaglia, 13 Oct 2017
    Man and robot...

    BOFH: Come on, PFY, let's pick a Boss

    Episode 12"I don't think your reviews are overly helpful," the Director sulks.
    Simon Travaglia, 29 Sep 2017
    Tea with biscuits.

    BOFH: We're only here because they said there would be biscuits

    Episode 11"We just DID this!" the PFY snaps - before I can beat him to it.
    Simon Travaglia, 15 Sep 2017

    BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY

    Episode 10"So what do you think?" the Boss asks. "You've had more experience than me at this."
    Simon Travaglia, 28 Jul 2017
    man in pain at workstation

    BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

    Episode 9"I wasn't built for user support, I know that now," I sigh.
    Simon Travaglia, 07 Jul 2017

    BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

    Episode 8I never cease to be amazed by the seemingly endless possibilities for forming a committee to not do something.
    Simon Travaglia, 23 Jun 2017
    Man with bun sucks on vape. Photo by shutterstock

    BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

    Episode 7"Simon, Steven – a word?" the Boss burbles warmly.
    Simon Travaglia, 16 Jun 2017
    James has entered the bastardly matrix. Illustrations from SStock, text from The Reg

    BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back

    Episode 6 "Ok James, I think it's time we released you into the wild," I say.
    Simon Travaglia, 28 Apr 2017

    BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

    Episode 5"The thing is," I explain to James, "the vast majority of management bright ideas aren't – they're just stuff which keeps the Boss occupied till lunchtime firing off urgent emails about problems we don't have."
    Simon Travaglia, 07 Apr 2017

    BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

    Episode 4 "Ah! Simon, Steven - this is James," the Boss burbles, pushing a young lad forward like a ritual sacrifice candidate. "James is doing a 2 week placement with us as part of his further studies."
    Simon Travaglia, 31 Mar 2017
    It's beer o clock for sysadmins. Photo by SHutterstock

    BOFH: Don't back up in anger

    Episode 3Backups.
    Simon Travaglia, 17 Mar 2017
    Man with clipboard, hardhat and concerned expression next to a pressure gauge in an industrial setting. Pic by Shutterstock

    BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you

    Episode 2There's a small-scale war going on between me, the PFY and the folk in Health and Safety.
    Simon Travaglia, 24 Feb 2017
    shouting at laptop 2 via shutterstock.jpg

    BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me

    Episode 1"Okay, I'll just need your username and password to verify this," the customer rep tells me.
    Simon Travaglia, 03 Feb 2017
    Scientist says nope. Photo by SHutterstock

    BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample

    Episode 14 "It's called Selection Bias," I say to the Boss.
    Simon Travaglia, 25 Nov 2016
    Man with YOLO tattooed on his knuckles prepares to punch the viewer (of the pic). Photo by Shutterstock

    BOFH: The Idiot-ware Project and the Meaningless Acronym

    Episode 13"So I just need a bit of help with the O.I.A.A.P." the new Boss blurts, bowling into Mission Control with a folder tucked under his arm.
    Simon Travaglia, 07 Oct 2016

    BOFH: There are no wrong answers, just wrong questions. Mmm, really wrong ones

    Episode 12"Look, all we want you to do is take this simple test which will tell us your personality type and the things you respond to," the Boss burbles.
    Simon Travaglia, 30 Sep 2016
    PRIVATE investigator on the phone, smoking a cigar, looks around suspiciously. Photo by Shutterstock

    BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon

    Episode 11 So I'm in the office by myself while the PFY is out doing... something... I guess... when one of our atypical difficult users comes in.
    Simon Travaglia, 16 Sep 2016
    Two beer glasses clash and splash frothy beer into the air. Cheers! Photo by Shutterstock

    BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

    Episode 10"I TOLD you, I HATE working on printers!" I seethe at the Boss.
    Simon Travaglia, 22 Jul 2016
    Smiling man wears VR headset against backdrop of city. Photo by Shutterstock

    BOFH: I found a flying Dragonite on a Windows 2003 domain

    Episode 9 Hell hath no fury like a Boss who has taken umbrage - and in this case he happened to hear the PFY discussing how he'd "upgraded" the Boss's Pokémon Go to a full augmented-reality app with a "feature" that made large moving vehicles invisible - just before giving him a virtual reality headset and suggesting that there were some great possibilities at the roundabout at the end of the street. Still, it's not like the PFY borrowed the company van and waited at the roundabout or anything...
    Simon Travaglia, 15 Jul 2016
    Man shreds documents. Photo by Shutterstock

    BOFH: Follow the paper trail

    Episode 8 "We were wondering.. what you were doing with... the storeroom?" the Boss asks.
    Simon Travaglia, 17 Jun 2016
    Techie wields circular saw while standing over the innards of a workstation. Photo by Shutterstock

    BOFH: What's your point, caller?

    Episode 7"Well I'm... pretty sure I didn't get it!" the PFY says, motioning his mouse aimlessly around the screen for a bit while lazing back in his chair. "Have you tried rebooting your machine?"
    Simon Travaglia, 03 Jun 2016
    Ozzy Osbourne performing live with his bassist Blasko in 2013. Photo by Harmony Gerber,  Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic

    BOFH: Thermo-electric funeral

    Episode 6 "So all I need is the data from yesterday and maybe the day before," the Boss says, handing over his pride and joy.
    Simon Travaglia, 22 Apr 2016

    BOFH: If you liked it then you should've put the internet in it

    Episode 5"Wah wah wah wah wah..."
    Simon Travaglia, 15 Apr 2016
    Angry man yelling on phone while reading vintage printer paper report. Photo by SHutterstock

    BOFH: Sure, I could make your cheapo printer perform miracles

    Episode 4It's yet another one of those Fridays where ALL I NEED TO DO IS MAKE IT TO 4pm..
    Simon Travaglia, 08 Apr 2016

    BOFH: This laptop has ceased to be. And it's pub o'clock soon

    Episode 3
    Simon Travaglia, 26 Feb 2016
    Kevin Steen hitting Adam Cole with a superkick at the Ring of Honor tapings held at the Ted Reeve Arena in Toronto. Pic by Tabercil, licensed under CC 3.0

    BOFH: In-depth IT training needs a single-malt distillery

    Episode 2 There's a bit of a scramble on.
    Simon Travaglia, 29 Jan 2016

    BOFH: I want no memory of this pointless conversation. Alcohol please

    Episode 1"Why does it always have to be so difficult with you guys?" the new Boss asks.
    Simon Travaglia, 22 Jan 2016

    BOFH: Taking a spin in a decommissioned racer? On your own grill cam be it

    Episode 18 "You know what Google has that we don't have?" the new Boss asks, wandering around Mission Control like the lord of all he surveys.
    Simon Travaglia, 04 Dec 2015

    BOFH: How long does it take to complete Friday's lager-related tasks?

    Episode 17 "And so then when you've done your part of the task you simply change your task icon to the 'completed' state, click update, then activate the next task in the project chain, which will send an alert to the next team member that they have a task to complete for the project," the instructor burbles happily.
    Simon Travaglia, 27 Nov 2015

    BOFH: We're miracle workers. But you want us to fix THAT in 10 minutes?

    Episode 16"What do you mean 'why's it not working'," the PFY asks.
    Simon Travaglia, 13 Nov 2015

    BOFH: I'm not doing this for the benefit of your health, you know

    Episode 15 "Is he still there?" I ask the PFY, maintaining direct eye contact with him so that I can truthfully claim that I didn't see the Health and Safety guy hanging around the hallway to Mission Control like a bad smell.
    Simon Travaglia, 25 Sep 2015

    BOFH: Press 1. Press 2. Press whatever you damn well LIKE

    Episode 14
    Simon Travaglia, 18 Sep 2015

    BOFH: Power corrupts, uninterrupted power corrupts absolutely

    Episode 13
    Simon Travaglia, 04 Sep 2015

    BOFH: An architect and his own entirely avoidable downfall

    Episode 12 "Well, you know what they say," the Boss says, faking sadness. "The candle that burns twice as bright..."
    Simon Travaglia, 28 Aug 2015

    BOFH: Why, I LOVE work courses. Please tell me more, o wise one!

    Episode 11 "... and so we thought that you might like to attend this two-day workshop in effective leadership techniques," the Boss burbles, rounding off the professional goal-setting exercise that company policy obliges him to do with me and any other contractor with a contract that's rolled over for more than five years.
    Simon Travaglia, 14 Aug 2015

    BOFH: Knitting bobble hats on the steps of the guillotine

    Episode 10
    Simon Travaglia, 07 Aug 2015

    BOFH: My diary is MINE and mine alone, you petty HR gimps

    Episode 9 "Wow, that's like the Matrix!" the Director's PA gasps.
    Simon Travaglia, 31 Jul 2015

    BOFH: Don't go changing on Friday evenings, I don't wanna work that hard

    Episode 8 "It's just a small change!" the Boss whines.
    Simon Travaglia, 26 Jun 2015

    BOFH: Step into my office. Now take a deep breath

    Episode 7 "Oh this takes me back to the early days of ST225s!" the Boss burbles.
    Simon Travaglia, 05 Jun 2015

    BOFH: Getting to the brown, nutty heart of the water cooler matter

    Episode 6
    Simon Travaglia, 15 May 2015

    Biting the hand that feeds IT ? 1998–2017